what you can and can not afford

“We can’t afford to have you be fat. Not at this time.”

We can’t afford to have you be fat.

We can’t afford to have you be fat.

Oh, no. Here we go again.

They’re going to be disjointed. But bear with me. Because the bear is drowsy and slow. But once it gets rolling, well then, there is hell to pay.

Am I at a market? I’m sure in your time, partnership and marriage were a marketplace. And everyone went home with the wrong purchase. This isn’t that time. That time was wrong. There’s no ifs or buts or doubt about it. It isn’t up for debate. Am I a product you’re going to sell? Show off your wares? I can’t be fat? Really? First off, I’m not going to be. Second, you saying that really makes me want to be. Just to spite you.

(Damn, this is tiring. Every few days. I have a headache. It’s dull but it’s painful.)

Just to spite you. Also, if they don’t like me when I’m fat, then they’re like you. If they’re like you lot, then I don’t want to be tied to them for life. With you, I have no choice. With them, I absolutely do.

Two, I would rather be fat than be like you people. You raised a bipolar child who knows nothing but abusing her children. Lashing out because she was never taught how to process emotion or to be a useful member of society. I would rather be fat, than be like either of them. Your daughter and her husband raised two depressed children. And we don’t know what the third has, and it will probably be more severe than the other two.

Three, I would rather be fat, and be loving. Be fat, and be in a place that accepts it so that any children I may have aren’t as fucked up, as screwed up, as emotionally stunted as the two girls you raised and the ones your daughter and her husband raised.

And while we’re on things I’d rather be, I would rather be an alcoholic, a sex addict, a drug addict, all of those things than be religious in this society. Than be religious like this society. Because most of the religious, including you lot are mired in the banalities and pointlessness of ritual, and completely removed from the virtues and necessity of humanism. The one person in this family from whom I’ve seen nothing but love and humanism towards all. No trash talking. No spite. He’s an alcoholic. And in all of your eyes, he’s the worst. So really, think about what religion does to you. I’m sure the religion itself is beautiful, but it gives you lot an excuse to act callously and like animals. Because hey, we pray, and fast, and donate the compulsory amount. I’m sure you’ll all go to heaven. But if you actually do, then that’s a heaven I don’t want to go to. Where you trash talk, and spite, and hate. And are proud and boastful. Look, I’m on the seventh layer of heaven, ha, I’m on the eight, ha I’m on the ninth. Or whatever. No, that is not a heaven I’d like to be a part of.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Danish Aamir