dreams

He sat at the table looking over. They were having lunch and talking. Across from him sat his girlfriend, soon to be wife, and also his cover. She was in on it too. His tablecloth was white and clean, the silverware glittering. He was looking at them intently. The man who was clean shaven was sneaking glances at him. The agent had been told to wait for a ‘john’. Him, he was not John. He knew all about this operation. He was just there. He was watching intently, he could not hear what they were saying. He should not be looking at them either, but he couldn’t help it. What’s worse, the agent shouldn’t be looking at him. It was too obvious. He was looking over and mouthing John. As if on cue, the man he was sitting across from turned around, and gave him an ugly sneer.

They were both at the table across from him now. His betrothed was by his side. On his left. The agent was across from her. The man the agent had come to meet was across from him. He didn’t know the agent’s name. They hadn’t mentioned names. They didn’t keep tabs on them. They kept tabs on them. He preferred not to know them. The man was sitting across from him, giving him a sneer. A beard, lightly trimmed. Just covering his face. Not hanging like those ugly ones he had seen. Well groomed. He knew how hard it was to groom a beard. He hadn’t had a long one, but he had had an ugly one once.

The man was giving him an ugly stare. He was staring back in fascination. This was interesting. The man began to talk. It was normal. Except for what was between the lines. Except for the veins on his neck popping out. Ears that were red with rage. Nostrils that were snorting. Spittle that was falling. Foam around the corners of his neck. The ordinary person wouldn’t notice. They might feel that something was wrong. But they wouldn’t notice. It was normal. Except for the fist that was tightly clenched, a fork slowly being suffocated. I felt my forearm bobbing. I didn’t dare to move it. And then I moved it. The left one. Closest to his fork wielding hand. I was not new to this. I was calm. It was a strange feeling. And it was familiar. It was different today. Maybe it was him. I grabbed my forearm with the other hand, forcing the throbbing veins to cool down. His face was contorting. And then turned to normal. He smiled politely at me as if nothing had happened. He knew. And I knew. He knew that I knew. The agent and my lover were both watching in silence. This was a strange table. No one paid us any attention. The waiters seemed to stay mostly away, which was strange. The chatter continued, unperturbed. The plates were clean. My finger twirled around the edge of my glass.