transcribed I

God thank my brother for introducing me to you. Sorry, where were we? Yeah well, I moved to New York. City of dreams, am I right?

Cheers, applause.

And there, I met my dream. I was a big Disney buff, when I was younger, I just don’t have the time now- sorry I go off on tangents a lot, is it okay? It is? Thanks. Phew.

Wipes beads of sweat off forehead.

Laughter.

I used to be Disney buff, and there’s this part in the latest version of Rapunzel, Tangled, where right before the guy who saves her dies says, “you were my new dream.” She was. She was my dream. I had our whole life planned out. I was madly, irrevocably in love. It’s just that, she wasn’t. I don’t think she wasn’t in love with me. I think she was. I think the madly, irrevocably part wasn’t true for her. Nine months we spent in my favorite city. I went back home for her. She would have wanted to live in Lahore, which is where we’re both from. And I wanted to make her happy. So I joined my family business, which coming from a humanities guy like me, wasn’t my favorite thing to do. But anything to make her happy, right?

Aww

And it wasn’t really her fault. I’m apparently not good at long distance relationships. A month in, we were fighting. We broke up. Tangent time.

Smiles widely at the audience

Laughter

I used to suffer from depression as a kid. I still do. I’m just better at pushing it down. But when we broke up, it came back. Swirling like the jaws of some great big shark, like a heavy cloud that was suffocating me. Wasn’t fun. Some days would be sunny. Others would be cloudy, and I was choking. I missed her so much. So I did what I’ve always done. I wrote to her. Wrote about her. With the exception of once, I never sent any of it to her. She was done with me. And I really did think to myself, ‘was I that bad’? I hadn’t thought so. But she was cold. And I was in love. And she’d fallen out of love. And I was drowning.

Ha

Maybe I can write another song out of that.

Laughter

Apparently she shared everything about me, I believe painting me out to be desperate to her friends. I suppose if it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. I’m still madly in love with her. But I understand. Let her free. She just doesn’t let go of me. Her memories are the gatekeeper of my mind, and have the keys to my soul. 

The writing would help. Temporarily. But then it would come back. This one day I was listening to one of my favorite songs at the time, you should be sad by halsley. And I thought to myself, she’s describing, they’re all describing what I feel. I tried writing a song.