Music Box

There was a music in the world that only she could hear.

A music box that never stopped playing.

She would wake up to it, she would go to sleep to it. It was present in her dreams. Beautiful, melodious, haunting.

It would give her a feeling of nostalgia, of longing, as if her heart wanted to rip itself out, and run somewhere only it knew. Somewhere it remembered from long ago. Somewhere it loved from long ago. But she did not remember whatever her heart seemed to.

Her life was a foggy haze. Not what she saw in cartoons, not what she saw in movies. Where people have color, and passion, and spice in their lives. Hers was not like that at all. Her mind was a fog, encompassing everything in her life.

Senses were dulled. Food she smelt, she could smell the spices, the juices in the meats she preferred, she could taste them on her tongue, her teeth chewing down, hearing the crunching as the morsels of meat were made smaller every time her jaw moved. She could see the different shades in her food. But she remembered, she knew that these experiences were more vivid, could be more vivid, had been more vivid in a previous lifetime. It was tantalizing, just away from her reach. She knew but she did not remember. She knew but she could not experience. The haze was all encompassing.

With lovers that she had, she would try to make her eyes wide, she would try to moan, yes there was pleasure involved, but there were never involuntary responses. Just ones she had to force out as a sort of courtesy. They too could never figure it out. During, their eyes were filled with that animal instinct, a need to spread their seed. But after, when they reflected, their eyes clouded with confusion, doubt. Were they good? They could tell, on some base level, that she had not enjoyed herself as much as they had. But it took a while to come to their conscious. They never stayed long.

There was a music in the world that only she could hear.

There was a darkness in the world that only she could see, a dimness.

The music box was open, small melody playing, an untiring conductor.

She was stuck in its dark corner, light filtered, and shunted coming from above.

The music played on, beautiful and haunting.